Instructions
Read over this piece of writing. Change it so that it makes sense and so it sounds exciting. You can delete sentences and change words in the writing so that it can be enhanced. Try not to take the meaning away from the writing.
My Edited Piece of Writing
On Saturday I was at my Papa's, Aunt’s, and Uncle’s house getting ready for Halloween. When I saw my Papa he was dressed up in a spooky Zombie he looked so scary. I was dressed up as a purple bat. I was ready for Halloween. Me and my Papa were going around the houses asking for lollies.
Once we went to a different house it was very black and very spooky. My Papa got scared so I told him don’t worry It's just a house full of decorations. There were spiderwebs, bats, and witch decorations. I knocked on the door and out came a ghost man. The man gave us sweets “trick or treat” I said to them.
Next I went down the road to another house that wasn't as spooky as the last. It only had black spiders and a witch’s broom. I knocked on the door and out came a black witch. She gave us some Chocolates and Candies.
When we stopped at Kings Road we saw my friend Zara and her Dad Babu. They were going trick or treating for treats. Me and my Papa were walking with Zara as we asked if we could come with them to get treats they said “yes”.
We stopped at the cafe and we had a hot chocolate and a Strawberry Cupcakes. Then we went back down to Coates Crescent to go to the other houses for trick or treating.
We saw another house that was scary. I said “trick or treat” and out came a spider. The man gave us some lollies and Chocolates . It was fun in Halloween. “Finally time to go home” I said to myself. I said bye to my friend Zara and we both went home to eat all of our goodies.
On Saturday I was at my Papa's, and Aunts, and Uncles, house getting ready for halloween. When I saw my papa was dressed up in a spooky zombie I was dressed up as a purple bat. I was ready for halloween. Me and my Papa were going around the houses asking for lollies .
Once I went to a house that was very black and very spooky my Papa got scared I told him don’t worry It's just a house full of dickarayshions . There Were spiderwebs and bats and witch dickarayshions I knocked on the door and out came a ghost a man and a lady gave us sweets yummy happy trical treat I said to them next I went down to another house that wasn't spooky as it was
It only had spiders and black a black witch’s broom I knocked on the door and out came a black witch the lady gave us chocolate and chocolate candy pumpkins .
When we stopped at kings road we saw my friend Zara and her Dad Babu they were going trical treating for yummy treats me and my Papa were walking to Zara we asked could we come with you to get yummy treats they said yes When we stopped down at the cafe we had a hot chocolate and a strawberry cupcake Than we went back down to costs cress to go to other houses for trick or treating
When we saw another house that was even scarier I said happy trinkil treat and out came a spider the man gave us lollies and chocolate it was fun at Halloween. than it was time to go home I said bye to my friend Zara and went home to eat all the goodies .
Yesterday and Today I have been working with Sharon. We had read over a sample piece of writing. Sharon and I had to fix up the mistakes in this work. The original piece of writing that was create by someone else didn't make sense.
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